January 2012 Life Balance
Newsletter
Your 2012 Life Vision
Vision: Describe your vision for a day in your life one year from now. How are you spending your time? What have you
said no to? Who have you reached out to? Are you back in school? Are you in a new job? Are you spending time with new
people who support you? Are you able to be your authentic self?
Beliefs: Are there limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of you fulfilling your vision? Work
to challenge them and rewrite them "I am working towards ..." "I believe in my ability to ..."
Values: To have balance in your life you need to have a vision of what your top 5 values are (i.e. health, family, learning,
relaxation, spirituality, etc.). Knowing these values gives you the space to honor the core of who you are. When we try to
be something we are not or try to fit into a mold or belief that isn't in alignment with our values then there is a disconnect. Honoring
your values is about honoring yourself.
Action: Create a vision board. You can do this by gathering various clippings from
magazines with words and images that appeal to you. Before you glue them on your board, see what kind of story they begin
to tell. Notice the themes and patterns. Allow these images to depict your core values. If you were to take a trip to California,
you wouldn't just get into the car and start driving, instead you would map things out, come up with a plan and route
and create an itinerary. This vision board can work as a guide and a map for your life and for your recovery. You
might even find it helpful to do a vision specific to your recovery and creating a healthy food relationship, the choice is
yours.
Journal
Prompt
Am I being my authentic self?
Am I staying true to my values or am I trying to please others to fit into their own mold for me?
December 2011 Life Balance Newsletter
The Gifts of Recovery Support During the Holiday Season
and Beyond
The Gift of Support: Don't put a hold on reaching out during this holiday time. Stay active in your therapy, whether
individual or group support. Your eating disorder lends itself to isolation, therefore it is important to surround yourself
around others that are supportive of your recovery.
The Gift of Mindfulness: Emotions are information, not something to
fear. Be mindful of your feelings and emotions. Honor them, don't criticize them, they are trying to tell you something.
The
Gift of Space in your Schedule: This is the time of year where it is easy to overbook yourself. Pay close attention to having some
down time in your schedule, even if you need to schedule it into your planner. Plan for pockets of space within in your week.
The
Gift of Saying No to Extraneous Obligations: Say no to the things that you don't feel passionate about, so that you can say yes to the things
that you do. Be aware of what might excite you as well as being aware of what might drain you. Choose those things in your
schedule that energize you and are in line with your values, as opposed to feeling that you should do everything.
The
Gift of Saying Yes to Your Recovery: When you put other things in front of your recovery, your recovery does not have the chance to
blossom.
The Gift of Spontaneity: Ask yourself what would be fun to do today? Rebel against the
self imposed rules of your eating disorder.
The Gift of Time with Loved Ones: Be especially mindful of being around others
that you can be yourself around. This provides the opportunity to cultivate your authenticity.
The Gift of Quiet: Give yourself
silence in your day. Turn off the radio and the TV and just notice the silence. Use this quiet time to check in with how you
are feeling.
Most importantly, whether you struggle with an eating disorder or low self esteem, give yourself the gift of patience in
your own journey.
Journal Prompt
What is my vision for how I would
like to spend the holidays? What might be some potential obstacles that I need to consider?
November 2011 Life Balance Newsletter
Binge
Eating/Emotional Eating Tip
In preparation
for the holidays and holiday food festivities, I encourage you to practice skills of mindfulness. As you sit down to your
next Holiday feast remind yourself of the following intuitive eating practices:
- What is it that I am hungry for?
- What will give me the highest level of satisfaction? (If your Aunt Mary makes her
famous pecan pie only at Thanksgiving, don't settle for the the cookies you can have any time of the year)
- What flavor would appeal to me right
now?
- Pay attention
when the pleasure of foods begin to decrease, or when you are no longer tasting the food.
Eating Disorder Recovery Tip
The holidays are often a difficult
time for recovery. Perhaps you are coming home from college and spending time with your family, or you might be traveling.
None the less, it is important to give your recovery utmost priority. Who can you reach out to this season? Stretch outside
of your comfort zone, if you the urge to isolate, do the opposite. Continue to fight the fight. Continue to stand up to your
eating disorder. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Give yourself permission to just be (think comfy pjs and a great
movie). Continue to find your voice and don't allow silence to take over. You deserve recovery, you can do it, you are worth
it. Take advantage of webinars such as one being offered through Mentor Connect on December 14th at 8pm a Holiday edition
with Jenni Schaefer, embrace recovery now! www..mentorconnect-ed.org
Building Self Esteem Tip
No one can make you feel inferior without
your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt
This is one of my all-time favorite quotes. When you truly get to know yourself and know who you are and what you stand
for, nothing can get in your way. We live in a culture that is always comparing one another to unrealistic standards, which
can certainly perpetuate this cycle of low self esteem. This holiday season I want you to give yourself the gift of self acceptance.
I want you to be your own best support, your own personal advocate. I want you to stand up to your inner critic. I want you
to believe in yourself.
I am enough
I have enough
My body is enough
I have everything I need
Journal Prompt
When
I sit in silence, what feelings and emotions surface?
October 2011 Life Balance
Newsletter
Binge Eating/Emotional Eating Tip
We're all emotional eaters to some
extent. It's nearly impossible not to be in a food orientated society, where eating is a part of celebrations and rituals,
and a fundamental aspect of family life and interaction. But when is emotional eating a problem? Simply put, when it interferes
with your health and happiness. Avoid using food
as a means of avoiding other issues in your life. If you are in a problematic relationship, or unhappy or anxious about life,
make understanding and dealing with these issues a top priority.
When you want to challenge emotional eating is to ask yourself these 4 questions:
1) What's going on? (think over the past 24 hours. What unresolved incident is still on your mind) Are you
angry? Bored? Sad?
2) What do I
want to do? (turn to food)
3) What is the consequence? (feel
shame and guilt, plus I will still feel upset, angry or anxious)
4) What do I choose to do?
Once you have identified your feeling, deal with it directly and appropriately. If you are tired, take a nap. If
you are restless, find something interesting to do. Ask yourself, am I truly hungry. If so, then honor your hunger. Besides
eating, what do you do when you are feeling each of these emotions or moods?
When I am anxious I can practice deep breathing
When I am lonely I can reach out
to a friend
When
I am tired I can take a nap
When I am depressed I can watch an uplifting movie
When I am feeling stressed I can go for a walk
When I am worried I can challenge my negative thoughts
When I am angry I can express how
I am feeling
Eating
Disorder Recovery Tip
If you are feeling stuck in recovery it might be time to remind yourself of the benefits of recovery
as well as why you chose to recovery. Who can you reach out to? Who do you need to reconnect with? Do you need help with
accountability? Don't make it about should I recover make it about when I recover.Each day wake
up and set an intention about how you will choose recovery for the day. You can do this! Believe in your ability to recover.
Recovery gives you a voice, your eating disorder silences you.
Recovery
lets you find yourself, your eating disorder traps you.
Recovery gives you an opportunity
for growth, your eating disorder stunts any movement.
Recovery gives you the opportunity
to feel your feelings, your eating disorder numbs you.
Recovery lets you live, your eating
disorder slowly kills you.
Identify your top 5 reasons
for recovery
I choose recovery because I want freedom!
I choose recovery because I want to live!
I choose recovery because I am ready
to fight!
I choose recovery because I matter and I am worth it!
I choose recovery because I want my life back!
Building Self Esteem Tip
10 Ways to Love Yourself
Stop
criticizing yourself.
Stop taking small problems and turning
them into big problems.
Be gentle, kind, and patient with yourself.
Stop listening to negative thoughts.
Praise yourself.
Support yourself.
Take care of your body.
Listen to your intuition.
Believe in yourself.
Love
yourself now
Journal Prompt
Dream it. Wish it. Do it. Nothing is impossible. What is that one thing you are
holding back from?
Life Balance Newsletter September 2011
Binge Eating/Emotional
Eating Tip
Eating Guidelines
- Eat when you are hungry
- Eat sitting down in a calm environment
- Eat without distractions (distractions
include radio, tv, newspaper, intense or anxiety producing conversation)
- Eat what your body wants
- Eat until you are satisfied
- Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
- Eat with enjoyment and please (when
you love something you pay attention to it)
Adapted from Geneen Roth Women, Food and God
Eating
Disorder Recovery Tip
Short term discomfort is necessary in order to achieve long term gain. Over the
summer I am notorious in my family for being the last one to jump into the pool. I stick my toe in, I quickly pull it out.
My kids yell for me to jump in on the count of 3, they have to keep on counting. This goes on for at least an agonizing 10-15
minutes. Intellectually I know that once I jump it it will take only a few minutes to get used to the temperature of the water.
Physically I resist. Emotionally, I know once I get in I will have fun. But still, I continue to go threw this battle each
and every time. Recovery, presents itself like this as well. There is a short term discomfort. The longer you wait to try
your challenge food, the harder it gets. Resisting completing meals doesn't make it any easier. The discomfort you experience
will be the same whether you jump right into the pool or agonize whether to jump in or not. But once you start the jump in
it will get easier, you may have to practice recovery self talk "I can do this, I want recovery, Food is medicine"
more abundantly in the beginning, and it may gone on like that for awhile. But the good news is that it is through our experiences
of stretching out of our comfort zones that we grow. As Susan Jeffers writes "Feel the fear and do it anyway".
This month create a grid of challenges that are easy, moderate, and difficult in
nature. Share them with your therapist or a close friend that supports your recovery for accountability.
Here is an example below.
Level I (easy) | Level II (moderate) | Level III (challenging) |
Eat one of my challenge foods | Get comfortable with a challenge food | Go out to dinner with a friend to a new restaurant |
Watch a favorite TV show without doing anything else | Go to a movie by myself | Go clothes shopping |
Reconnect with an old friend | Do something spontaneous | Try a new dessert food |
Building Self Esteem Tip
Start thinking differently, by
first being aware of the thinking. Interrupt the cycle by taking a moment to STOPP.
Stop and pause
Take a breath (practice anti-anxiety breathing)
Observe your thoughts and feelings (What are the thinking distortions? Black or white thinking? Catastrophizing?)
Keep Perspective (Is there another way that you can view the situation?)
Practice coping skills that help (rewriting the thoughts, practicing
affirmations, going out for a walk).
Here are some other affirming
thoughts you can use:
I have strength
I have inner strength and resources
I know I can master anything
if I practice it continually
My life purpose can be whatever I choose it to be
Just because I feel bad,
doesn't mean things really are bad
Journal Prompt
How can you make
the greatest difference in your own life?
August 2011 Life Balance Newsletter
Binge Eating/Emotional Eating Tip
What if instead of focusing on what we should be eating, we make a commitment to take care of ourselves
differently? What that might look like is, "wow I am really tired I
could use a nap" instead of going
to chocolate and/or coffee (fill in the ______) for the pick me up. Or acknowledging that "I am really sad that my friend
passed away, I am going to allow myself to feel instead of turning to food for comfort. It is about asking ourselves
what we need instead of judging ourselves and not admitting that we have needs.
Suppose you are juggling many balls
at once (work assignments, family commitments, friends, volunteer, health) it can be easy to drop a ball. If you are too focused
on meeting the needs of others, I challenge you to look at a way to slow down. What is depleting you? What is energizing you?
What do you need more of? What do you need less of? Change the inner dialogue in your head to be one of compassion. Often
in life, there are many things out of our control. When we are feeling stressed or irritable it is a sign that something has
to change.
So this month,
set an intention to have compassion within. If you are finding yourself using food to sooth, don't beat yourself up, turn
off the inner critic and tap into your inner advocate. Ask yourself what you need. Commit to doing one thing
every day that makes you feel good. Perhaps it is reading a few pages of your favorite author, watching a favorite show, having
a cup of hot tea while sitting out on your deck. Doing something that brings a smile to your face.
Eating Disorder Recovery Tip
For those of you that know me professionally and personally you know that I am very passionate
about the work that I do. I truly believe in the process of change and the process of recovery. The most exciting part of
my job is when I work with someone who does not believe that recovery is possible and then they start putting one foot in
front of the other. They begin to challenge themselves outside of their comfort zone, they begin to believe that recovery
is way better than their eating disorder.
A few weeks ago I asked one my clients why she
chose recovery after a 7+ year battle with her eating disorder and she said it was something her parents had said to her,
they told her either she needed to chose to live or to die. For her, it was about life or death. And now, almost 11 months
later she has begun living her life. Her sessions no longer revolve around food but around increasing social connection and
preparing to go away to school. But what is interesting about this young lady is that she chose it for her, not for anyone
else.
And sometimes the story doesn't have quite such a happy ending. When I
was at the BEDA convention this past year, I heard a mother speak about the death of her daughter to anorexia. There wasn't
a dry eye in the room to listen to this mother's pain of losing her daughter. As a practitioner, I realize that this is a
reality in the work that I do as an Eating Disorder Therapist. Even though I know that can be a reality with many of my clients
I chose to always go for the fight.
You will have to fight a battle more than
once to win it - Margaret Thatcher
Recovery can be such a slippery slope, two steps
forward two steps back. Walking up the mountain, tumbling back down. Many times my office door serves as revolving door as
I see those new to recovery and those old to recovery and everything in between. I may not be able to see all the happy endings
but I chose to help with the fight.
If you are needing some inspiration in your own
recovery check out http://www.youtube.com/user/Holding0n Each month there is a posting with eating disorder recovery
quotes.
Challenge your intention for recovery
(1) What has stopped you in the past from making the
change that you want? What has gotten in the way?
(2) What would be the first small step you could take towards recovery?
Building Self Esteem Tip
You
can believe in yourself
You are good enough just the way you are
You
are doing the best you can
Imagine if those were the messages that you were greeted with each morning by your inner advocate,
wouldn't it put a little pep in your step? This week I want you to ignore the inner critic, in fact go ahead and fire it.
Instead, I want your inner advocate to get louder, to be the first to greet you in the morning and the last to say good night.
You deserve to hear positive affirming messages. At first it might feel a little corny, but with practice and with time there
will no longer be a function for your inner critic.
Here are some other affirming thoughts you can use:
It's ok to make mistakes
I accept myself for who I am
I am a worthy and good person.
My
past does not control my future.
I choose to be a happy person.
I am willing to do whatever is necessary to make tomorrow better.
Journal
Prompt
Are you caught in a pattern of doing the same thing and expecting different results? What can you do today to stretch
outside of your comfort zone? Who will you tell?
June Life Balance 2011
Binge Eating/Emotional Eating Tip
The Emotional Do's and Don'ts List
from The Food and Feelings
Workbook by Karen Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed
Do
·
Allow myself to be vulnerable
with people I trust
·
Fully experience every emotion
· Be open and accepting of all my emotions
· Be curious rather than judgmental about my emotions
· Use people to comfort me when I feel badly, instead of focusing on food
· Let my emotions come and go as they please without fear
· Take my time and figure our exactly what I'm feeling
· Use my feelings along with my judgment to help me reach my goals,
eating and otherwise
Don't
·
Pretend I don't feel anything
when I do
· Ignore or minimize painful feelings
· Believe that anyone knows better than I do what I'm feeling
· Let people shame or humiliate me for having or expressing feelings
· Avoid feelings because they make me feel uncomfortable
· Worry about my feelings making me fall apart
· Be so concerned about hurting other people's feelings
· Focus on food when I'm experiencing a painful emotion
· Be hard on myself if I take a while to get the hang of this emotions thing
· Dwell on my feelings after they've given me the information I need
to make changes in my life
Above all things, be curious about your feelings. Honor your feelings and emotions,
remember they are trying to tell you something. Practice self care by listening!
Eating
Disorder Recovery Tip
Tips to experience painful feelings
from The Food and Feelings Workbook by Karen Koenig,
LCSW, M.Ed
· Remember that the feeling will pass
· Focus on staying with the feeling and not pushing it away
· Know that your pain has a purpose to ultimately
enrich your life
·
Remind yourself
that what your are feeling is normal
·
Know that no matter how
intense, you can bear the pain just like everyone else
Building Self Esteem Tip
"Being emotionally healthy means using clear thinking and experiencing a full range of
feelings" Karen Koenig
Maintaining and building positive self-esteem is something that you have to make a conscious effort to do. Self-esteem
is an internal job. It takes time and patience to re-train how you view yourself. Self-esteem includes self-like, self-worth,
engaging in positive self-talk, and having a positive self-perception. There are a variety of tools that you can implement
to enhance your self-esteem. Think of the different tools that you have used when you have had a successful day and you have
treated yourself in a kind and loving manner. The secret is not re-inventing the wheel but instead doing more of what has
worked well for you and then most importantly, sticking to it.
Identify ten things that you can do to enhance your self-esteem
Journal Prompt
What emotions are the hardest to sit with?
